The Many Similarities Between God and Bacon

Oh, yeah…

The Monday Heretic

I have a complicated relationship with bacon. To explain, let’s start with my lucky bacon socks.

I call them “lucky” because whenever I wear these socks, I have an exceptionally good day. Every time. After I discovered this, the following conversation went on with my roommate Rachelle.

Me: I’m manipulating God into making me have a good day by wearing my bacon socks. He has to listen to the bacon socks.

Rachelle (appalled by my heresy): Yeah. Uh-huh. I hope you step in a puddle.

Me (crosses arms, snobbishly): The prayer of a bacon-socked person is powerful and effective.

This is just one example of my obsession with bacon. I also name-drop bacon and use it as the punch line to jokes. The recipe I make most often to bring to parties is potato bacon soup. One of my college bucket list goals was to work “bacon” into a…

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