Emotions and new changes

Written on August 16th.

Wow. How the emotions came flooding in today. Leaving my home of 15 years. But I’m filled with an eternal peace that can only come from the Lord. I have been constantly reminded of how incredibly faithful our loving God is. Instead of being sad about moving I am choosing to be thankful for the blessing of being in one home for so long. Not everyone gets to experience such a blessing. I’ve grown, stumbled, and served in this place and I will always remember these moments. God is SOOO good and through change He will go before me and stay with me forever.

To all my friends (now family) from this place. You know who you are. ❤ Thank you, thank you, thank you! Each one of you has encouraged me, supported me, and loved me for so many years. You are a true blessing! As we move on to new places and adventures, all across the globe, I know God has a plan and He is moving us apart so we can grow to new limits and reach even more people where He leads us.

Though tears may come, I am thankful today for such a blessing as this.

Thank You Jesus!

❤ Mandie

 

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Goals? Resolutions? My One Word 2018

Hello friends! I feel that this year holds something special. This year I didn’t make any goals or resolutions. It’s a new year, and that means it’s time to find my word for 2018! My one word for 2017 was celebrate. Looking back at the year I would give myself a B. Lol! Now if you know me you are probably shocked I didn’t give myself an F. I tend to be hard on myself in every area of life. I give myself a B because I feel I made the most of this year. Maybe I wasn’t happy all the time and I had my share of rough roads and made plenty of mistakes. But that’s life, isn’t it?! And nobody’s perfect, so I stick to a solid B.

Now don’t get me wrong! Just because 2017 is over I am not just switching words and forgetting about my previous word! No, I am going to continue to work on celebrating the rest of my life! Now onto my new word for 2018!

God gave me my word before I even realized it and before I was even thinking about a new year! As I was praying about the new year and thanking God for bringing me through 2017 a word kept coming to my mind. Surrender. That is my word for this year. And God also gave me my verse for the year through my sweet friend S.

It’s 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; ‘But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’

This year I want to let go and let God. I surrender my life. I don’t have a resolution, but I have a focus for the year: to surrender every day to the Lord. And this is my prayer for 2018.

Hey God, You already know what’s going to happen this year. You already know the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I know you will be by my side the whole way through. But God, you know how imperfect I am and how many times I fall astray from Your Words. Help me to fully let go and not hang on to my doubt, my fears, or the past. Help me to speak up and speak out. Give me the courage to share my faith with others, no matter the cost. Soften my heart and help me not to focus on myself but to focus on serving and loving others. I know it won’t be easy, so fill me with your love, your strength, your peace. All I want is You. Thank you for carrying me through 2017 and for pouring out your blessings in my life. And now I surrender my life to you. Everything I have is Yours! My friends, my voice, my life, it’s all yours! You can take all of it away and I’ll be okay, because I’ll still have You! I will surrender to you everyday! From now on I’m yours! Take my life and use it for Your glory alone!

Amen!

❤ Mandie

Music Monday!

I’m back for another Music Monday! (Insert clapping here) Yes, I’m still alive and well! College is keeping me busy y’all! I had an amazing Fall Break, which I will hopefully get to share with y’all soon!

This song by Hollyn has been in my head for the past few days. I’m loving the powerful message of it. He is coming soon to fight for us, He is our strength when we are weak, and He is always there to rescue us! We have hope!

Why I like Danny Gokey

Hello lovely friends! I have a slightly different post today!

Y’all know I love music, and if you are new to my blog (WELCOME!) you will soon learn that music is my passion! Jamie Grace has always been my favorite singer, until the past few years. But don’t y’all worry, Jamie Grace is still a close second! Now another artist, Danny Gokey, has RISEN (let me know if you got the pun!) to the top, at least for now! You may think I like him for many different reasons, such as his voice, his looks, or the fact he was on American Idol. But you’d be wrong. It’s because of his music, plain and simple answer right? Wrong again. Let me explain!

The very first time I heard Danny Gokey on the radio, I immediately had to find out who he was and what song it was. I found the song (Hope in Front of Me) and then researched Danny Gokey. I read his story (and you can read it too, here) and I was very inspired and fell in love with his heart. Continuing on until now, I have seen him in concert a few times and he still inspires me. There has never been a time when I have not felt encouraged by his music.

He is one of many singers who have been an inspiration to me in my journey to use my voice for God. I pray that someday I will be able to just sit down and talk with him about music and using it for the glory of God. And be able to thank him for what an encouragement his music has been in my life personally. I also pray that I might have the opportunity to sing with him someday…I get chills just saying that! Anyway, these are the reasons I like Danny Gokey. Not because of how he sounds, or looks, or what his past was. No, its because of how his music has impacted me, encouraged me, and pushed me in my faith. And for his heart and passion for God.

I feel something when he sings. It feels like God is directly speaking to me through his music. And that is my prayer for me! That when I sing people won’t see me or hear me. I want people to hear God and be drawn closer to Him when I sing. Less of me, More of Christ!

Have you heard Danny Gokey’s songs? If so, which is your favorite song? Let me know in the comments!

❤ Mandie

Let’s be real…

(This was not a planned post, this post was written on the way to my first college audition this past week.)

I need to be real with y’all. I hide behind my blog. I post happy and uplifting posts, but sometimes I’m not happy when I type them. Just because y’all don’t know me in life, I feel like I can fake it and I feel safe. And even the few who actually know me, I hide from y’all. When I’m blogging and people like my post, comment, or follow me I feel confident, strong and brave. But y’all don’t see the real me, the me the struggles. I’m not confident. In fact, I lack self confidence. I’m not strong in my faith, and I am definitely NOT BRAVE.

I’m afraid. But what am I afraid of?  Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of being rejected. Afraid of failing. Afraid of being judged. Afraid of the future. Maybe even afraid of fear itself. I don’t want to be afraid! Some of my favorite songs are songs about letting go of fear or trusting God in every situation, but I still fear. I sing about being free, but I’m not. I’m held captive by fear.  As I start flipping the pages to start a new chapter in my life, I fear. I fear people laughing at me, or worse…doubting me. I fear that my plans won’t be His plans. I fear going with the flow. I WANT to stand out in the crowd, I want to stand out for Jesus.

I don’t want to hide any more. I don’t want to hide behind my blog, but I don’t want to hide in life either. I’ve gotten so good at hiding it’s like I don’t realize I’m hiding. I don’t know what it’s like NOT to hide. I hold all my struggles and emotions inside to make others happy, to not weigh down on them. But I’m not happy, I’M weighed down. Why do I always feel like running when I can’t see what’s ahead. My heart tells me to stay, but my mind tells me to run. It’s a constant battle. I know we’ve all dealt with fear and hiding from something, then why do I feel like no one understands? When everyone says “you’ll do great”, or “you’ll do fine”, I’m over here shaking in my boots!

I know His Word is filled with many truths and verses about trusting Him and that I ‘m not alone. (Joshua 1:9) I know He is with me, but the fear still remains. I yell at my fear and my doubts, but they never seem to go away. I think to myself, “it’s hopeless, I will always be afraid”, those words haunt me day and night. They say I’ll be fine, but they don’t see what’s inside. All the fear, anxiety, and doubts all bottled up inside waiting to burst out. I’m ready to explode! I say I’m okay, but I’m not. My stomach is tied up in knots. Everyone believes in me except me…

I know what I need. I need peace. Not just any peace though, the peace that can only be found in Jesus. Because Jesus is peace. He tells us not to be afraid, and He leaves us His peace. (John 14:25-27) Then why am I still afraid, and why do I not have peace? I’ve felt this peace before. I remember the moment I found this peace. Beach trip waking up early in the morning, sitting outside on the deck, talking with God. Out in the cold, my mind racing, my heart stressed and weak, longing for peace and comfort. I opened the Word and found peace. A peace that comforts and calms.

I open the Word now and I can’t find peace for my soul. Was it the environment? Or is it me? Is it my heart? This stubborn hardened heart? But I’m willing and I’m crying out for peace Lord! Do you hear me? I ask. My fears, my nerves, they overwhelm my peace and my strength. You say to trust you Lord, and I try but fear surrounds my soul. It overtakes me. It swallows me whole. Everywhere I go, there it is. I try to be confident in You, but sometimes I just can’t find the strength to do it. I cower when I should stand up and shout. I need Your strength so I can fulfill what You have in store for me. (Philippians 4:13; Psalm 119:28)

While saying all this song comes to mind. “I have confidence” from The Sound of Music, I would change this to I DON’T have confidence. Here’s what it says, with me editing it:

I (DON’T) have confidence in the sunshine,
I (DON’T) have confidence in the rain,
I (DON’T) have confidence that the spring will come again!
Besides what you see I (DON’T) have confidence in me.

I’m supposed to have confidence. Confidence in Christ. But I fear, I worry, I lack self confidence, I lack true strength. God’s Word has answers for all of these. Fear not! He says in His Word. (Deuteronomy 31:6) Do not worry about anything. (Matthew 6:34) He tells us to be confident in Him (Jeremiah 17:7) He will give you true strength (Psalm 46:1) We are supposed to rejoice in every situation, but sometimes I don’t feel like rejoicing. In His Word this is what God says in Philippians 4:4-9:

‘Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned from Me, or seen in Me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.’

What does this mean? Does it mean we can just fake it all the time and act happy? NO! It means SO much more than that. (This is my understanding of this set of verses. It could mean something completely different to y’all) To me this verse means that everything I just wrote down means nothing. NOTHING. I’m free because Jesus died for me. I don’t need to worry my brains out about what will happen. If I do start to worry (which I will still do because I am human) I need to pray and bring my fears to God. He will give me peace. The peace that calms, comforts, and restores. Even more, I need to guard my heart and mind from all evil things. Finally, I need to put all of this into practice, but not just what this verse says, what the whole Bible says.

Once I put all of this into practice, with God’s help, I will be FEARLESS, CONFIDENT, STRONG, FREE.

Afraid by Tenth Avenue North: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WohcTuNRBFE

No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TkUMJtK5k

This one is now my life song. It reminds me that I can be Fearless with God by my side. Fearless by Jasmine Murray: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h-kQkcrOok

(I own none of this music! All rights go to the artists and producers)

❤ Mandie

 

 

 

Music Monday

I have heard this song a lot lately, so I thought I would share it. God is our refuge and He is fighting our battles! I do not own anything all rights go to The Afters and producers of this song. 🙂

Christmas musings

Every year we wait and wait for Christmas to come. And then it comes, and in a split second it’s gone. This Christmas something just felt different for me. Even though I love Christmas time, the giving of gifts, the receiving of gifts, and most importantly the remembrance of our Saviors birth, something just wasn’t right.

I took all my presents up stairs after we opened them. And I stood there looking at them. There were many. Some big, some small. But most important I had gifts. I felt happy, and loved. Right in that moment I began thinking of all of the families that don’t get to experience Christmas the way that we do. There are families that don’t even get food every day. And here I am with all of these presents! I felt so greedy and selfish looking at the presents on my bed. I felt like I didn’t give enough this Christmas. Not the physical gifts. But the more personal gifts. The gifts of love, joy, peace, the gift of Christmas.

I know Christmas is over, but I am still listening to Christmas music, so here are two songs that go with what I was trying to say:

Christmas makes me cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pem0MP4u_jE

Give this Christmas away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BVGkb5bxRY

I own neither songs. All credit goes to Matthew West, Mandisa, Amy Grant, and producers. 🙂

Mandie

Music Monday!

Music Mondays are back! Yay! And it is even Christmas music! Hope y’all enjoy! 🙂

You Are (New post series)

Here is a little encouragement for you today.

No matter how stressed you are, no matter what you have to do, no matter how many or how few friends you have. Know that you are LOVED. You are loved by the One True King, the Creator of the Universe. You are loved more than you know. Even when you have made so many mistakes that you think no one could possibly love you anymore, you are loved. No matter where you are, you will always be LOVED.

Here is a song to sum it all up.

Every Tear by Matthew West

Here is a song we all need to hear right now. Pray for our nation, home, and fellow brothers and sisters all over the earth.

Celebrate Life,

Mandie